The Valet Parking Fun Zone

Owner doesn't like attended parking. He's too cheap. But every once in a while I get a special treat and visit the valet. This is like visiting a key fob singles bar. First you get to be held by a total stranger, then the most exciting thing happens. You are draped over a hook really close to other keys and fobs. It's like sitting on a stool in a crowded bar. Everyone's talking and jammin to the elevator music usually played at the hotel or restaurant front door. As the key case is opened and closed, we all boogie to the beat of the music. It's a key fob party!

It was about six months ago when Owner went to Los Angeles for a conference. It was valet only parking, Yee Ha!. A real cute brunette carefully parked the car then held me real tight while she trotted over to the key locker. I dreamed about being hung next to one of those European sports fobs. You know, the kind with lots of buttons and a sleek shiny finish. Just as I reached my peak excitement she stuck me right between Bubba and Clyde. Bubba was a monster truck fob from Texas and Clyde a restored Chevy from Alabama. What a mistake. Bubba kept asking me, "now tell me again what is it you do, you count?" "Hey Clyde, get this, this guy counts for a living" Bubba announces. I try to hide behind master key's scratchy surface for protection. Fortunately a few moments later the little brunette takes Bubba and Clyde away to their owners.

Next thing I know in comes a cute little Asian model named Ami. She was one of those slim and thin types with lots of buttons and features. A realy high tech fob. Immediately we hit it off. Ami and I had a lot in common, she was really impressed with my cryptographic features, how I protected the network and the environment. We started to compare the origin of our parts, mainly all from China. We soon realized how much alike we really were. Suddenly my heart sunk. Could Ami have been strategically placed here to try and learn more about me. Was I being compromised? Quickly I swapped codes just in case and changed the subject. We talked about the weather and the excitement of hanging in the valet key locker. "Do you come here often" I asked awkwardly. Suddenly we had nothing to talk about and I felt very strange, alone and violated.

About this time Ferrari was slung on the other side of me. She was one of those fast and curvy models with an Italian accent, bright red and very sexy. "Ciao, buona sera", I was speachless. Ciao, I stammered. Italian, what do I remember? I have been to Milan once, and the maid didn't say much. Now let me think. Oh yes, it's Come sta? How are you, was all I could remember. Right away she rattled off Italian phrases like we had known each other for years, she must have talked continuously for ten minutes before she realized I was only politely nodding as if I understood. How embarrassing, now here I was stuck in the middle between Asia and Italy and nobody to talk to. Please come rescue me I wanted to shout out to Owner. All the while switching codes in case Ami was keeping track. About that time the valet came to rescue me, it was a big burly guy with sweaty hands this time. I didn't care, I needed to be extracted from key fob hell. I was so glad to see owner and to be back in my place hanging from the key switch. Owner switches on the radio, it's Fleetwood Mac.

Why not think about times to come,
And not about the things that you've done,
If your life was bad to you,
Just think what tomorrow will do.

Don't stop, thinking about tomorrow,
Don't stop, it'll soon be here,
It'll be, better than before,
Yesterday's gone, yesterday's gone.

It was a great night.